1.10.2011

Eye-Opener

Today before Michael went back to Chino, we saw 'Tangled' at the Regal. Pretty darn cute, Disney. I liked how Regal was so dead on a Monday evening, it was awesome.

When we were leaving I refilled my soda and the girl at the concessions stand complimented me on my ring. She was so nice and genuine about it, I talked with her a little more before we left. Ever since then I've been deeply struck by something I've thought about a lot over the years.

People in the church (and throughout the world) get engaged ALL of the time. For some reason I expected the fairytale of it to happen to me at any moment when I was 19 (wow, naive). It hasn't happened until now and I'm almost 25. I kept trying to remind myself that everyone has their own story, but I wasn't very convincing. When my relationships were struggling, I looked at these engaged couples with envy and jealousy, so much that I had a hard time being happy for them. What a brat. It wasn't until I actually went to a bridal shower or two and talked with these girls that I could calm down: they deserved it, they were good people, they loved somebody and they wanted to be with them forever and make that commitment, good for them.

So here I am, engaged and truly happy about it, and this girl in concessions talks to me and is nice to me about it just because. And it really struck me how much I want to be like her. I've been stuck wasting my time fighting off feelings of envy not specifically directed at the people who get married, but at the situation that I didn't have. I'm definitely recognizing people who are just like I was (not happy for 'the engaged') because they don't talk to me about it, or don't talk to me at all. For the first time ever, I'm happy and I'm not showing it as much. I want to, but I'm not because I want to be considerate of those people. However it's a big downer that that envy is there. I'm not saying I'm completely cured myself, I'm saying I'm still working on something I've wanted to get rid of for a long time and just be happy for people, and I wish more people would try to do that too. I'm also saying I'd have a few more friends, closer friends, if they'd take down the same wall and be happy with me.

No comments:

Post a Comment